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Stop Destroying Your Dreams

managing your online businessAre you planning to create your very own online venture but don’t know where to start?  Or maybe you are already managing your online business for a while now but seeing no growth?  Well, you are not alone in this.  Truth is nine out of ten entrepreneurs will most likely fail in reaching their goals.  It’s the hard truth but not the one that should discourage you.  With this number in mind, you have to find a way that you won’t belong to that nine who are on their way to online oblivion.

When Ideas Light Up

You’re on your desk job thinking how you wish you also have your very own business to run.  Then suddenly a brilliant idea came across your mind!  You decided, this is going to be a big hit and you can start marketing it online.  Some of you on the other hand manage your own businesses but decide that you want to start promoting it online. So there you are, after a couple of hours of looking at how-to’s online, you decide to build your very own online business.

Get a Dose of Reality

I’ve been where you are so I know how you feel those first few days or weeks or months of putting your ideas into actual plans.  There will be times when you are so fired up you no longer know which day it is.  Sometimes you no longer differentiate day from night or vice versa.  There will be moments when your friends and loved ones already sent you countless messages or give you cold shoulders because you no longer hangout with them.  There’s nothing wrong in being caught up with your passion… but how long will you neglect yourself?

Stress to Burnout

Most of the time, we can’t avoid getting stressed.  What we do need is to understand when stress is about to burn you out.  Burnout is caused by constant stress that leaves you feeling helpless and disillusioned.  This is very common in entrepreneurs and business owners and ignoring it will only result to poor performance and both mental and physical exhaustion.  If all these will happen, then it will spill all over the different areas in your life and can threaten not just your career but also your personal lives.

You Are Destroying Your Dreams

The business industry is volatile and no matter how great your idea is or how reliable the services and products you offer, you are not exempted.  This is why you have to find ways not to work hard but rather to work smarter.  Set your priorities, know your strengths and most especially know your limitations.  If you don’t have time to do all that you need for your business, then by all means learn how to delegate those tasks. If you keep on going even if you know you need help or if you insist that you can get to all your backlogs someday… you are just destroying your dreams.

A solution is always within reach.

If you don’t know where to start or what aspect of your business you really need help the most, reach out.  You can’t waste another day… another hour…in not finding the solution to your dilemma.  Break free from all the work and tasks that’s holding you back from your business goal.  There’s always a sustainable way in managing your online business that can give you the freedom you need to finally focus on moving towards your dreams.

 

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Random Thoughts on Personal Development

personal developmentThere’s no single philosophy or a single specific guide that can encompass how personal development is attained. The principles in place may be something learnt from someone else or it may be something you yourself discover through experience. What counts is that it is a continuous process that makes you a better person not just in your career or personal lives but as an individual working in contentment, happiness and harmony with the world especially with the people around you.

Your Goals may be holding you back…

People decide on goals with the best intentions and feel that by having all of these goals and working toward them, they are doing themselves justice. Some may be short term, some long. But take a moment to really consider what your goals are how many can you actually accomplish at once? Are some of your goals counterproductive to your overall progression?   Are some even goals at all. Take for example losing weight. Should losing weight really be considered a goal? I know I’m gonna get flack for that statement but think of it this way…

Your main goal is personal success. But you are currently focusing on losing weight. Yes, losing weight is a challenge you’d like to conquer but in the focus of personal success, it’s my belief.

Stop looking for meaning and create it…

Spending your life trying to find its meaning is pointless. You won’t find it. Meaning is not a thing that is presented TO you, it’s created BY you. Spend your life pursuing your purpose and the meaning becomes written.

Burden or Benefit…

You are one or the other.

The closest to you will hurt you the most. This is true because you would never want to turn away from a close friend or family member who is in need and you would never believe that they would willingly want to do you any harm. They may not believe they are doing so either, but once you realize and understand the power of auto-suggestion and the subconscious mind, you will realize the impact they are inflicting on your own success. You are either a benefit or a burden to others. This is a very distinct separation. Burdening someone else or allowing them to become a burden on you is directly counter-productive toward either of your happiness. Be a benefit to all and require to only give focus to those who offer the same in return.

Become by letting go the need to be

When you think of what it is to be something, you typically think of a specific point at which you achieve a certain level. When you are trying to be that thing, you tend to try to compete at that level of what you consider being that thing is.   But you have never put in the work or learning to actually be able to compete at that level. And when your attempts fail, you decide to give up. You never focused on the idea of becoming that thing. Becoming something is a growing process. It doesn’t have an end point. You focus more on the discipline of learning and growing more so then reaching a plateau.

In the idea of having a career in your dream job, you typically think of the most celebrated person in your industry and you view them at their current level of achievement. This is typically far beyond where you now. Not understanding the process to get to that level you only see where they are now and view it as unreachable. So you take the easier path to a more easily attained job

Sarcasm is Bullying

bullyingI had a crazy realization the other day. Have you ever been having a conversation with someone and they throw a smart ass remark at you? Then they can tell by the look on your face that you’re not comfortable with what they said so they immediately follow it up with, “Oh, I was only being sarcastic!!”….

I have a new rule. No sarcasm. I don’t do it. I don’t accept it. Do you know what sarcasm is?  It’s BULLYING!

Stick with me for a minute…

How many times are you exposed to this type of banter? You friends in school, your family, coworkers, etc… It’s so common, it’s ridiculous!! Now project that out over a long span of your life…. How many negative phrases, names, or comments have been launched at you and have been determined acceptable because they were just a joke.

Here’s the reality…

Every single one of those times, there was an amount of truth behind their words. Sarcasm is actually hostility disguised as humor… and negative words hurt. Words have an impact the moment they are said, and they can’t be UNsaid. Everything from just being hurtful to actually causing your body to begin producing certain chemicals within (stress) which can still linger even though you may have moved on. They somehow leave little remnant of their unpleasant presence.

Another issue associated with this form of interaction is your subconscious mind doesn’t distinguish between what’s real or fake so as far as your nervous system and unconscious are concerned, those statements are absolutely 100% true and correct and because you received them, you must therefore agree….

Seem a little extreme?

What’s more, since actions strongly determine thoughts and feelings, when a person consistently acts sarcastically it usually only heightens his or her underlying hostility and insecurity. After all, when you come right down to it, sarcasm is a subtle form of bullying and most bullies are angry, insecure, cowards.   Alternatively, when a person stops voicing negative comments, especially sarcastic and critical ones, he or she soon starts to feel happier and more self-confident. Also, the other people in his or her life benefit even faster because they no longer have to hear the emotionally hurtful language of sarcasm.

Now I’m not saying all sarcasm is bad. It’s just better used sparingly – like a potent spice in cooking. Too much spice and the dish will be overwhelmed by it. Similarly, an occasional dash of sarcastic wit can spice up a chat and add an element of humor to it. But a big or steady serving of sarcasm will overwhelm the emotional flavor of any conversation and taste very bitter to its recipient.   Don’t hesitate to tell others that you don’t appreciate their sarcastic comments because it’s just thinly veiled hostility and unacceptable bullying.

So, tone down the sarcasm and work on clever wit instead which is usually devoid of hostility and thus more appreciated by those you’re communicating with. In essence, sarcasm is easy (as is most anger, criticism and meanness) while true, harmless wit takes talent.

Playing Small

playing smallI can remember the point when I had reached a level of financial stability and began living “well” for all intents and purposes, but was still so unhappy.  I always felt like I had to discredit my accomplishments for the approval of others.  And trust me, I wasn’t nearly living as bold a life as I wanted or dreamed but even at that, there was always of level of uncomfortableness regarding doing well for myself and my family.  I was young, driving a nice car, had a nice house, and was more than excited to share my happiness and fortune with everyone around me.  I always had a genuine interest in people and had more fun allowing others to enjoy the fruits of my labor than enjoying them myself.  But there came a time when I couldn’t hold myself back any longer.  I was watching life just pass me by and too many tragedies were happening around me that I could no longer sit idle and watch my life lay stagnant.

I began pursuing opportunities and allowed my life to flow in whichever direction my interests would take it.  And what a few years that was!!  I was having the time of my life meeting people, winning awards, creating the most amazing experiences for myself and others!!  …and guess what?  Those who I would have thought would be the happiest for me, HATED it!!  Yup, even though I remained humble and cautious to being showy or arrogant about my accomplishments, behind my back my “friends and family” were all mocking me.  “Who does he think he is?”  I was totally unaware of these for a number of years believing that since they always were more than willing to enjoy all of the things I offered and smile in my face, they were also accepting of my means to providing them.   Apparently not.

Upon realizing this, I was devastated.  I couldn’t understand why people would have so much negativity toward someone else’s happiness.  See, this was all before beginning to study personal development and understanding “Choices” and realizing that we all have opportunity within our own lives to excel to whatever level we are willing to work toward.  They were not responsible for my happiness just as I was not responsible for theirs.  I realized that in order to reach the level of impact I had envisioned in my life, I am going to have to break free from the concern of others.  This is the biggest barrier we all face in living out our dreams; getting past our critics.  You can not limit yourself because of the choices others have made for their own lives.  Regardless of the immediate consequences, recognizing this and repositioning your life in support of your dreams is not only the best thing you can do for yourself but is absolutely necessary to fully align and find true happiness.

Imagine a world where everyone encourages each other and is happy for another’s success…  Eutopic right?  I know, and it probably will never happen within our lifetime but that doesn’t mean you can’t or shouldn’t live by such standards.  The world ONLY grows when creative individuals are able to overcome the limits set within themselves and others and fully express their ideas and passions.  Therefore, once you feel as though you have a greater purpose inside you,  it then becomes your universal obligation to pursue it no matter the costs.  Playing small does no good for anyone.  “Who do you think you are to NOT live out your potential?!”

10 Marketing Mind-Intrusions REVEALED!

Marketing Principles The other day I read a post online regarding Facebook’s “secret marketing agendas” behind the rainbow profile images.  The story was centered around “a tool Facebook released allowing users to superimpose a rainbow over their profile pictures.”  This was in response to a new ruling on gay marriage and was being offered as a way users could represent their support of this decision.   The article then continued to explain how the users of this tool were “Duped” because it was only created and secretly being used as a psychological marketing survey to gather information about their users.

Duhhhhh…..  Really?!

Allow me to clue the masses in on a simple truth….  EVERY entrepreneur who does any form of marketing is running psychological testing on their audience.  That is what we DO!!  How else do we get to know and best serve our audiences?!  We do things and then listen (or track) your responses.

I later found it written that this explanation for the application was just a conspiracy but I am still struggling with understanding how this even could have been perceived as a bad thing regardless….  That’s like saying Pepsi taste tests are a dirty trick derived determine our taste preferences !!!  HOW COULD THEY?!?!?  Sounds dumb right?……

OF COURSE Facebook is keeping track of user’s habits on THEIR website.  This is how they continue to grow and remain the #1 social forum EVER ESTABLISHED!!  71% of ALL internet users are on Facebook.  There is only one way to reach this type of popularity.  It’s by knowing what its users want.  I wish MORE companies would engage in these type studies and tracking of their clients to improve their interactions.

If you’re still having a hard time understanding this reality and/or accepting this as a good thing, here are the 10 principles of pschology being used encourage your buying decisions every day… but FYI:

The companies that have mastered blending these concepts into their marketing are your FAVORITES!!

  1. Priming : You get exposed to one stimuli prior to being exposed to the item for sale.  The initial stimuli will have an effect on your buying decisions.  This can even be as subtle as the background color on a website.
  2. Reciprocity :  You’re given something up front for free, hoping you will now feel obligated to show your support and purchase something when asked.
  3. Social Proof : If we can show you that others like it, so will you.  Few people like to be the first at something but even fewer want to be the last.
  4. Decoy Effect :  Typically used in pricing structures, a decoy midrange option is offered presenting the top tier option as more attractive.
  5. Scarcity :  Simple supply and demand.  The more rare something is, the more valuable it is.
  6. Anchoring :  People base decision on first piece of information.  Showing a higher price and then offering a discounted price while the original price still shows will increase the buyer’s feeling of a “deal”.
  7. The Frequency Illusion :  The law of awareness.  Once something catches your attention the first time, you now become unconsciously more aware of its presence from then on.
  8. Verbatim Effect :  People will remember the gist of what’s said, not all the details.  This is why headlines are important.  A good headline will guide a reader’s assumption of the entire story.
  9. Clustering :  Combining similar pieces of information together makes it easier for the reader to understand and remember.
  10. Loss Aversion :  Once people have something, they tend to not want to lose it.  This is where time restricted free trials come in.  Once you have had something for free you will likely pay to continue having it as opposed to losing it.

Now you know the 10 most devious mind manipulating tools built into all marketing to ever exist…  but I’ve heard if you quickly don your aluminum foil helmet you will be safe from our dirty clutches….

The Journey Journal: A Step Closer to Your Dreams

The Journey JournalEvery one of you have your own aspirations and in one time or another have sat down and spent time thinking about how to reach them. Some of you may have planned, strategized and even have a yearly resolution list that you hope would somehow bring you closer to that goal. One thing’s for sure, most of you know you must do something in order for you to get where you want to be but not all of you know where to start. This is what often makes the journey more complicated, if not elusive.

It’s been long proven, writing down your goals and tracking them makes you significantly more likely of accomplishing them. Some say as much as 10x’s!! That being said, I made it my mission to develop the most efficient and effective tool to do so.

The Journey Journal

It is the culmination of years of research involving what makes for effective goal tracking and achievement. Then taking each of those tools, along with my own sense of flare and creativity, and presenting it in a way that can be both useful and entertaining. I wanted it to be something you enjoy carrying around and look forward to filling in with information. Because ultimately, THAT is what is going to bring you the results you desire.

Why Journaling?

For years I struggled with traditional methods of what I call long-form journaling. Where you begin with a blank lined notebook and at the end of each day dump the deepest darkest parts of your soul into it. This is very effective for “looking back & connecting with those memories, whereas The Journey Journal is about looking forward and tracking your progress.

This is my gift to you. I give you… The Journey Journal.

If it’s useful and effective, it’s in here. I am giving this out to anyone who wants to become a member of www.Refuze.com. This is not just some trick I have to get you to sign-up. The reason is that only people who really want to make a difference and live above average would have the desire to join my community…and these same people will find the most use for The Journey Journal.

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And The Journey Journal is just the first-step. Once you start your journey with us, you will get additional materials, updates and tools that will bring you not just closer to your goal, but ensuring that you actually be where you want the most to be. So waste no second anymore. Click the button below and enjoy participating in the active creation of your life.

Dreams Are Woken Up From

dreamsHave you ever woken up from just having an amazing dream?  You sit and reflect on it for a moment but by the time you’ve gotten into the shower, 90% of it has been totally erased from your memory.  Your life’s dreams can share this same fate.  Dreams are a mish mosh of information all stored in your sub-conscience.  During sleep, parts of this information come forward to create a hap-hazard story typically not making a whole bunch of sense.  Your brain chose to forget it because it doesn’t make sense.  It’s just too much information to try and process.  Sounds familiar?  How often have you been overwhelmed with the idea to take charge of your own life then just simply give in to the ease of what’s comfortable?

The technique to assist you in making sense of your sleeping dreams is the same technique to use to assist you in making sense and accomplishing your life’s dreams…

WRITE IT DOWN!!!

Dreams can be woken up from and are immediately forgotten, plans written down can be revisited over and over again until they are created.  I try to not consider my purpose a dream.

We condition ourselves all of our lives with all things through repetition.  Mass Media continuously uses this method to condition us to believe an individual is a celebrity, or the “in” thing.  Radio stations loop a new song every half an hour until we are conditioned to believe it’s the greatest song out, driving its numbers skyward.  Conditioning or habit or the act of getting used to and comfortable with something until it becomes our habit, our preference.  Well, think about what a dream is.  It is something that we’ve conditioned ourselves to believe is make believe, an imaginary land, something that is woken up from and almost instantly, for most, forgotten.  Why then would you describe something as intimately meaningful for your existence a “dream”?!  You are subconsciously connecting it to something that you’re conditioned to believe does not and will not ever exist.

Two ways to combat this.  Start using the term “purpose” instead of dream.  If something is your purpose then you have no choice but to do it.  It’s what you were put here to do.

Second is to change your conditioning to what dreams are to you.  Enter… Lucid Dreaming.  When you begin to understand your dreams and can begin to actively participate in them, you will ultimately begin to drive them and control their outcomes.

Now dreams are controllable and so is your future.

 

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